Can I Be Your Memory?
by myasiansuperpowers
Summary: After receiving a gift from J.T., Liberty learns not to burst into tears everytime she thinks of him.


"Can I Be Your Memory?"

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or it's characters. If I did J.T. and Liberty would be a happy...and alive...couple. And the title is a Sugarcult lyric from the song "Memory", so they own that.

Summary: After receiving a gift from J.T., Liberty learns not to burst into tears everytime she thinks of him.

I walk through the empty halls of Degrassi. Actually, they were flooded with students. But none of them matter, I don't notice them anymore. If I focus hard enough I can see him, a mischevious grin on placed on his adorable face. I can still feel his fingers entwined with mine. Sometimes I can even smell the cinnamon gum he'd always chew. Sometimes I feel he's still here, and nothing ever happened.

Then I return to reality. And he's nowhere to be found.

I turn the dial on my locker. I search through the landfill to find my history book. I stopped caring about organization...and everything else since you left. I find it at the bottom of my backpack. Along with a marble notebook I don't recognize. But my name's written on it...in my handwriting. Then I remember, this was my old diary. I look at the date written on it. It's from the last few months of tenth grade and the summer before junior year. I smile, I was haveing the time of my life during those months. Everything between us was so simple, he loved me and I loved him.

I snap back from my thoughts. What's this doing in my backpack? I walk outside of Degrassi and start going home. I open the diary, skimming through the pages as though they held the answer. Strangely enough, they did. In a crooked handwriting that was so familiar to me, a note was written on the back inside cover.

_Libby,_

_I hope this diary will help you remember all of the good times we shared. I hope it helps you to remember me, instead of mourning me. I hope every time you think of me you smile, instead of cry. I think reading this will help. _

_I love you,_

_J.T. _

"How did J.T. give this to me?" I mumble to myself. But instead of pondering it, I just accept that he did. Since there probably is no logical explanation anyways.

I'm so lost in my thoughts, I don't notice I'm standing at my front door. I get my key and unlock the door. I run to my bedroom and collapse onto my bed, diary still in hand. I open to the first page.

_Wow,_

_Today is turning out to be the best day of my life. Remember how J.T. and I got detention for a week because of I sang that song to Raditch? Well, it was totally, completely, absolutely worth it. Because today, I kissed J.T. YORKE!!! J.T. FREAKIN' YORKE! THE GUY I'VE BEEN CRUSHING ON FOREVER! But it gets better. After we pull away I say, "I've crushed on you for four years." Wow, I can't believe I said something so pathetic. But he smiles at that, and kisses me back. As in, HE KISSED ME!!! I kissed J.T. TWICE in one day. Come to think of it, whenever I kissed Towerz, I felt nothing. But with J.T., I felt sparks...major sparks...like fireworks or something. Hold on, my cell's ringing. _(a/n: I know that if this was Liberty she's be using sophisticated words and what not. But she's to excited to do that right now.)

I laugh as I read my own diary. I used to be so innocent. I read on...

_You'll never guess who called. J.T.! He asked me to go to the Dot with him tomorrow. He sounded so cute the way he was stammering nervously:_

_"Hello? J.T.?"_

_"Um, Liberty? Yeah um...hi."_

_I suppressed a giggle, "So, what's up?"_

_"Nothing...I was uh...wondering if you'd...like to um...go to the Dot tomorrow...with me?" He breathes in a sigh of relief._

_I'm not sure why he's so nervous...I was the one who kissed him right? So wasn't I obviously into him? Guys are weird. I laughed, I couldn't help it. Poor J.T. "Yeah, sure J.T., that'd be great."_

_"Really? SCORE!! I mean...I'll uh...I'll pick you up. At say...seven?"_

_I laughed, again, "Seven, sure sounds great, J.T.. Bye."_

_"Bye, Liberty." He hangs up._

_I'm so excited, but scared. This is J.T. Yorke we're talking about. What do I wear? What do I say? Will he like me at all? I'm freaking out right now._

I remember my frantic thoughts as I prepared for my date with J.T.. Our first date went surprisingly smoothly. We were both nervous at first, but soon neither of us could stop talking. J.T. told one hilarious joke after the other, I even told a couple jokes myself. At the end he had to drop me off about a block away from my actual house, due to my dad's strict "no dating" policy that I had just broken. I remember how he kissed me that night, it was even better than the time we kissed in detention. This time I was standing so close to him, I think I could feel his heart racing as fast as mine. I could have stood there kissing J.T. forever, but I needed to breathe at some point. I caught my breath, and to this day I can still remember the way he looked at me, as though I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

I catch my reflection in the mirror. I have the most idiotic grin on my face, the one I always got when I thought about J.T.. Until, he died. But this time I don't cry and scream his name into my pillow when I think about his death. This time I smile, thinking about all of the fond memories I had with thim. And even though the memories are all I have that's left of him, for some reason I feel like that's enough. That maybe if I smile when I think about J.T. instead of cry, I'll get through this.

"Thanks, J.T., even when you're not here with me, you can still cheer me up," I say to no one. But I feel like he heard me.

END??

Notes: First fic I've written, the other one on my account is a strange Harry Potter parody I co-wrote. So constructive criticism is really appreciated. This, for now, is a one shot. But I may continue writing more of Liberty's diary entries, because I had a lot of fun doing that. Tell me what you think.--Mina


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